Odes to a Physics Songbag

A wonderful spread of physics-related lyrics from a number of sources, notably Tom Lehrer, appears in the July 2005 issue of Physics Today (page 56 ). Tom’s program notes call his one-hour music drama, the Physical Revue, the “last class of a mythical course, Physics 11a.” It was far from mythical.

The revue was performed during the last fall-semester meeting of Ed Purcell’s course for concentrators in physics. I taught it while Ed was on sabbatical and, appropriately, sang the role of Professor. The counterpoint was sung by Tom, David Robinson, Bob Welker, and Munroe Edmunson as the students. I told the students this would be a preparatory session for the final exam. The song whose lyrics appeared in the Physics Today spread was the opening number. The final piece was more faithful to my description of the class that day. It was sung to the music of a scatological Mozart canon, “Oh, du Eselhafter Martin.”

Professor

Now, then, are there any questions?

Any problems, any questions?

If there are none, then I am done.

And I can bid you all good day. …

Just one more thing, and do not laugh;

I hope you take the second half.

Physics, Physics, Physics 11b.

Students

Ha, he asks if there are questions.

Holy smoke have I got questions!

I’ve got a ton, and every one

Would take him half a day to do.

But I don’t really want to stay here, since he’s said all he has to say here.

But it’s agreed that I shall need much more than luck on the examination. …

One thing that makes me laugh:

He hopes I’ll take the second half.

Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, don’t make me laugh.